It feels crazy to think that as the drinking me feels like a long time ago now.
When I made the decision to start drinking again last Summer I really believed I was doing the best thing, I thought my life and relationship would get better because of it - when drink was the reason it was in bits - the craziness of that is very scary.
My final spell of drinking ended in a disastrous trip to New York which I had ruined on the first class flight out there by drinking myself to my oblivion and struggling to get through passport control - my Husband told me the next morning that he couldn't do us anymore and he would try and get a flight home - this didn't happen but a week long of drinking did - we decided to split and on the flight home I sat completely miserable knowing it was too far this time
I drank for a time when we got back and then the straw that broke the camels back was when my Husband went away and then called me to try and make amends, and also to help me - but all he received when he called me was a very drunk me.. he must of been crushed - I need to remember this.. because what happened after I still can't explain
He called my Parents, and they saw me coming off a binge - something only he had witnessed in the past - they finally acknowledged I was an alcoholic - I was so ill and drinking mouthwash for the alcohol content in between throwing up - I felt once again like I was going to die
Then my Husband came back - and told me he wasn't going to leave me alone to deal with this - but this time had to be it
That was 9 months ago, and this is what is better
- My attitude
- My health
- I'm positive and looking forward
- My marriage is better than it has even been
- I am a good employee - a needed one
- I am a good friend
- I am a good daughter
I think I am working towards being the best version of me
Everything in my life improves and continues to improve without taking a drink - one day at a time
Grateful
SB x
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