A little reminder.. I'm better but my marriage isn't there yet

So, the relationship I am in is one with two very different people - I need to talk through things my Husband doesn't like too

I am sober but it doesn't mean that the damage is undone, he loves me but wants to get the 'proper love' back.. I managed to get this out of him yesterday.. I am trying to not be needy and keep asking for reassurance but this is hard... because I am worried he finds me boring now I don't drink. However he might be the boring one as he generally likes to spend his time in the pub, watching football and betting.

I don't find this boring about him by the way, I don't mind - I like us doing our own things - he hates the stuff I love to watch on TV.. I know this is normal in relationships - I just feel very unwanted at the moment...

I know from what I have learnt over the past 6 months that alcoholism is a very selfish and 'me me me' problem, when I hear myself seeking reassurance I am mindful of the fact that this is probably just another symptom..

Ugh.. I don't know - I just want to move on with my life.

I think now looking back putting down the drink was the easy part, it's dealing with life without any means of an out or oblivion.. when my Husband sinks 10 pints on a Saturday - thats his oblivion... it only adds to the problem as I then don't want him anywhere near me... intimate stinking of drink? No thanks.

I love him with all my heart but I've said all my sorries and if he doesn't think this relationship is worth pursuing i'd rather know now. I'm not getting any younger!

This blog isn't me sitting on my my pitty pot, I just need to get it out there - other than that day 203 ain't so bad!

SB xx